I Am Not Wise-I Admit It

Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths smooth. Do not consider yourself wise. Fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. (Proverbs 3:5-7 GWT)

I read this verse this morning-the sentence “Do not consider yourself wise.” Jumped out.

I am not wise.

I admit it.

There are so many things I want to understand right now. Why things are the way the are? Why people lie? Why people hurt people? Why people play with other people minds? Why?

Why?

“Do no rely on your own understanding.”

I have no understanding of these things. I don’t. But what gets me through all this, is the first part-

“Trust The Lord with all your heart” and that I do.

There is my wisdom…it is my trust. Trust that God has a plan.

I just wish He would mail it to me. Or Facebook it. Or Google + it.

But to His scripture I turn. To God’s Word I find wisdom.

Because I admit it -I am not wise without God in my life and His words in front of me.


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Little Girl Dreams from True Love

Being a wife and mom have been the best things in the world.  It was what I always dreamed of.  I have always had a love for kids.  When I grew up I wanted to be a nurse to help children get better.  I loved to babysit.  Babies loved me.  Kids loved me.  I dreamed of a big family with 10 kids (which I dropped off at my moms for the summer time:)

Being a wife, a mom, having a house, a perfect family- I remember growing up dreaming about all that.  Life was not always easy growing up.  My mom and dad had many struggles, and were divorced by the time I was in 8th grade.  We didn’t have a normal childhood, my parents made it the best they could for us.  We as a family went through many illnesses and financial troubles.  But it was a good childhood, with more happy memories than bad ones.  With the  help of extended family they where able to just make it by.

I would dreamed with  JC Penny’s and Sear’s Catalogs picking out baby stuff, wedding stuff and house stuff.  That is what girls do.  They dream.  We live in a world of what ifs.  We live in a world to make it better than what we think it is now.  That’s what girls do.  We love to dream and live in our little dream world.

As I went to college and started to really grow up more, I started to look at marriage and what I really wanted in my future husband.  I dated some, and while I dated it was hard to really separate what was really good for me and what felt good for me.  I knew God had a bigger plan for me.  But sometimes I got stuck on the good feelings, and those good feelings almost took me to places that sometimes it is hard to return from without a good fight.

I remember hearing what true love was one day on the radio.  True love was a husband holding his wife’s hair back while she was throwing up, and not complaining about it, but gentle cleaning her up and putting her to bed.  At the time I thought, that was odd true love. Wasn’t true love -making out?  Wasn’t true love getting what makes you feel good?  Wasn’t true love that feeling you got?  I was 21 when I heard that.  But it stuck with me.

After college I didn’t really date much.  I became really focused on what I wanted in a future husband.  That was how I looked at dating.  It wasn’t something fun for Saturday night.  I thought maybe I had someone in mind.  But then, when I got the call here to Ascension, I met Dan.  I can’t explain it, but the first time I met him-it made an impact.  I wasn’t even sure if I was going to move here.

After getting to know Dan I truly understood what true love was.  You first have to understand the first True Love to understand your true love.  Dan has stood by my side through the good and the bad.  We try to up lift each other and to encourage each other.  While we are sinful and have our faults, and we do have our days where we get frustrated with each other.  We have our days were we can talk to each other and not hear what the other says. We have our days that we just don’t know what the other person wants.

But ever year we grow.  We grow together with our 4 kids.  We grow together as husband and wife.  We grow together as Christians.  We grow together as we care for the house.  We grow together through the tough times.  We grow together on our times aways from life.  We grow together sack dap in the middle of life.  No one said life was going to be easy.  Or this journey of marriage was going to be easy. It certainly is nothing like I fantasized when I was a teen looking at catalogs picking out what I would put in a nursery, or in my kitchen.  I am glad that I didn’t fall to that need to having a JCPenny’s or Sears catalog life.  Oh that sounds like a country song.

Dan and I are going to be celebrating 12 years of marriage on Sunday.  Since we have been marriages we have had 5 kids (one baby in heaven), 15 foster kids, been on too many cruises, traveled on train across country, been to countless kids baseball games, eaten out too many times, became Disney Vacation club members, survived a tornado disaster in our area and a week with no power, hold strong to our faith and church, have amazing friends whom  hold our arms up when we just can’t, have family that stand the test of time.  Our 4 kids continue to amaze us and frustrate us at the same time.  We continue to learn that life is just plain messy sometime and while it is messy, I would not trade it in.

Each moment of life gives us chances to learn.  I love learning with my husband.  How blessed and privileged I am to have someone who loves me unconditional like Dan.  Our 4 kids continue to give us those chances to learn.  While they grow and learn, and even if they get lost in this life, we will always be here for them then they need us.

One day we will be holding grand babies, telling them stories for their parents and smiling as we see them go through all the same struggles we went through with them.  Till then we will tacking this next year homeschooling our kids next year and cruising.  Making the most of the great life God has given us.  That is the best we can do.


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10 Things About Me you Need to Know


  • I love Jesus with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my life.
  • Everyday I fall in love with my husband more and more and thanks God He put him in my life.
  • I love my children-even if God placed more in our home, I understand how the heart grows with love.
  • I miss working as a DCE. I miss the joy, excitement, and fast pace life. But I do not miss the politics within the church while working. But I miss working as a DCE.
  • I have a Love Hate relationship with homeschooling. More love than hate. But I love the freedom it gives our family. And I love how it takes our family outside of the box and we can explore and learn the world. Because if I ever did go back to work, this time with them now, is important.
  • I am working to make myself healthier. I use to suffer with 3-4 headaches a week. Sometimes I would go silently with the pain. But now with the help of my Dr. and medicine, I am down to 1 every 3-4 weeks. I feel like I have gotten my life back. It is still taking some time to adjust-but I am enjoying this new found pain free freedom.
  • I love Sushi.
  • I love coffee. A LOT!
  • I am a horrible speller and writer. I don’t know how I have gotten this far in life? I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was a child. I am not sure I ever really over came that other than learning how to over come it. I was told in high school I would never amount to anything. Well I made it through 4 years of college. Got my BA. Went on to Graduate school. Got my degree to become a DCE (Director of Christian Education) continued to get a Master in Parish Education. It really makes me mad when a school tells a child they cannot do it. And it makes me sad when a child gives up because they think they can’t do it. I did it and I did it being a horrible speller.
  • I am addicted to my iPhone. My lap top not too far behind. And if I had an iPad it would be just as bad. BUT…I lived without my laptop for 2 months, so if I had to……..no not sure I could live without my iPhone……..but I have strong will power……I would give up coffee first then my iPhone.

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Writing What’s in Your Heart

There are times I wish I could openly write what’s in my heart. What I am feeling, how it effects me, makes me feel, without worrying about what someone else would say.

If I was mad I should be able to SCREAM AT THE TOP OF MY LUNG HOW MAD I WAS. How disappointed I was.

If I was confused I should be able to express my confusion without needing to be the one to clarify things but rather to have things clarified to me.

If I was hurt I should be able to write that really was painful. Please don’t do that again.

If I was betrayed I should be able to express it in a respectful angry way that it would not be ok to do that again.

If I love you and you broke my heart. I pray my heart can be mended again.

If you are lost, and you can’t find your way, don’t push me away. But if you do, you are going have to knock at my heart before I can let you back in.

The things we wish we could write are all taken differently. You as a reader would have no idea who or what I as the writer is writing about. My words are powerful, therapeutic, and healing to me. To someone else they only see words that they put their own interpretation behind.

So when I write I can’t breath. My head feels heavy and my heart burden with sorrow. I feel as if something has been stolen from me. As if something was torn from my heart. And my only prayer is that God knows my heart, knows my needs, knows me. God my God knows my writings. He is the only one who can take and read and hold me and comfort me. He is the one whose arms are wrapped around my family keeping them safe.

Sometimes you as the writer must write what you must and you as a reader can only wonder?

What do you really want to write?

Go write it.


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10 Random Things I Wonder About

I Wonder…

1. If my life could my like JD’s on Scrubs, where I would stop and my thoughts would take over, like someone else could hear them ?

2. If I can turn those three feet drinking straws into a children’s message some how?

3. If I was in my house alone for a week could I clean it?

4. If God had made Eve first how would life be different?

5. If I just throw all the single socks away will the missing pair show up?

6. If I’ll ever get to go potty by myself without children yelling mom or the cat by my feet.

7. If I’ll get to see all the National Parks?

8. Why there is an expiration date on sour cream?

9. If I will take a call again as a DCE?

10. What other people think I wondered about:
Isaiah (5) Jesus, Jesus in your heart
AnQuentte(6) Life, why we are so bad, cleaning, laundry
Robby(10)God, life, I don’t know, how to punish us
Jeremy (18) I don’t know, how to punish us
Dan (hubby) I don’t know, blogging

(are you sensing the age where men become clueless about women-or just afraid to say what they think we are thinking! )

Facebook friends
Wendy (baby sister)Life
Ben (friend) Universe
Anna (youth) Why I’m so awesome, ha ha I’m just kidding.

My mom -I wonder what Susann wonders others wonder about.

My mom got that on the T. I do wonder all the time what other people are wondering about. Like I wonder what on earth is going through the mind of my teenager Jeremy or Isaiah’s mind. I mean Isaiah goes from point A to B in seconds and the things he comes up with.

I wonder why people do the things they do, or why they feel they have to do things to be loved.

Now I think I am beyond my 10 random things I wonder about! (And there goes my JD mode-So I wonder if any will read this and wonder something to? Maybe they will wonder…..)

I had to….it is old!


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25 Random Things to Know about Me

Who is MommaHopper? How did my name come to me some ask? Well truth be told I started collecting frogs without realizing it! Started with two cool ones one summer and soon before I knew it, I was getting frogs for gifts all the time when I was working in the church. When my son was born-frogs and dragonfly where the theme. Now I have slowly separated my collection, you would never know walking into my house. But they are there, in corners and on selves each with a special story to tell.

So here are 25 more random things about me, mommahopper!

1. I am a child of God.

2. I hate writing about myself.

3. I do not like getting up in the mornings, unless no one else is up.

4. I like a clean kitchen, but wish it was automatic.

5. I love to eat sushi

6. I love music of all kinds except heavy medal, raunchy rap and twangy country.

7. Yes I break out into song over crazy things in the house.

8. I do talk to myself in the stores as I mentally go over the list of things needed. One day I hope I don’t talk back to myself.

9. I love to sit a round a campfire all night just watching the wood burn.

10. I love to start that campfire up the next morning with no matches.

11. I love my husband with all my heart. He is the best thing that has happened to me and he completes me (wasn’t that line from a movie?) But it is true.

12. I hate to be rushed getting out of the house.

13. I secretly love to bake but don’t so I won’t have to do it so much.

14. I love my iPhone. I never thought I would use it as much as I have and would be lost without my calendar.

15. I love to travel everywhere!

16. My favorite meal is when one of the kids says, “I love this mom!”

17. I like to grown my own vegetables. So do the bugs and birds.

18. My all time favorite movies are A Long Hot Summer, Buckeroo Bonzi and Oscar

19. I want to travel to all the National Parks before I die.

20. I miss my family and friends who don’t live here.

21. But I am glad I have my church family.

22. I like to walk into the sanctuary very early in the morning when I lead a lock in at church and all the kids are still sleeping. It is my most peaceful place.

23. I have parented over 20 kids.

24. I love spell checker because I hate to spell.

25. I love my children!


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Your not Super mom. Stop trying to be.

It is amazing how many people say to me “Wow you are super mom!  How do you do all of this?”

By the Grace of God.   Through Him who gives me all strength.  That is how I do it!

I am not trying to be super mom.  Nor do I want to be super mom.

I just want to be:

  • Loving mom – who loves her children no matter what
  • Organized mom-who can have an organized house, or at least try to have one!
  • Chef mom-make my children health meals.  I don’t care what it looks like, just that it is good, healthy and yummy.
  • Teaching mom-I want to give my kids the world, and I don’t even have to leave the house to do it!  But traveling is more fun!
  • Healthy mom-I want my kids to see me exercise and making good choices.  I want to be one “hip” grandma one day!
  • Wise mom-I want my kids to know they can talk to me about any and everything.  I want them to know that I do give good advice.
  • Cool mom-yea I want them and their friends to think I am cool (doesn’t every mom!)
  • Mean mom-Disicpling and training molds children for the future and if I get the title mean mom in the process I know it’s working!
  • Sinful mom-I want my kids to know I am not perfect.  I mess up and some days I am a mess.
  • God fearing mom-I have this most wonderful God who loves me even when I am not perfect.  I want my kids to know this.  That He sent his Son to die on the cross for me. For them. For you.

But I do not want to be super mom.

I have learned that I can not have a perfect house, a perfect home school room, a perfect packed lunch, a perfect meal, a perfect wardrobe….I am not perfect.

I don’t want to do it all!  To try to create the illusion that my family is perfect all the time.  We are not.  Some days are just hard, others are harder.  Raising a family in today’s world with God’s standards is plan hard, but worth it.  I am not super women.  I do not do these things to be super women.  I want to be like all the other moms, who are doing just what I am doing.  Loving our families and raising them up.  In hopes of becoming a grandma one day!

But thank you for the compliment, it does make me feel good to think someone thinks I am!


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Ash Wednesday – you want me to do what?

Ok while it is not my goal to go into discussion of Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent (which may come later).  To learn more about Ash Wednesday come with me to church tonight and hear for it your self.  Or do some reading, last year Pastor Terry Cripe wrote on the Ohio District page this blog post.

 I am not here to gloat at “look what I am doing!”  Nor is this some spiritual experiment or anything like that….I am just one simple momma who have identified two areas of life that needed some adjusting.  Lent for me is many things, on many levels, one of those things is a time to look at ones life and evaluate.  While I would need to make huge changes to many things, I chose two.  One does not have to do this, and this has nothing to do with food.  My adjustments are simple…less Castleville and more walking!  Thats right, I love to play Castleville, some days I find my self on it 5-6 times a day waiting for more energy to come. I love playing the little missions that come along and beating up the bad with the good.  It is a great place to escape, but I have been escaping too much into it.  So I am limiting my playing, my goal is more to get on and off once a day to send gifts and materials that my other friends may need.  I will not sit for hours waiting to see if I can finish a mission.
On the flip side-all that sitting I could be walking.  I got a Fitbit last month.  It is pretty cool.  I clip my onto my bra and off I go.  It measures my steps, how many stairs I climbed, how many calories you burn through out the day, and how you sleep (although I forget to put my wrist band on often.)  But it is my motivator to how many steps I walk.  Yesterday I walked 7398 steps.  Close.  My goal is to hit at least 5 days a week to 10,000 steps a day.

So here is it and here I go!


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100 Things I am Thankful for this year 2011

1. Jesus
2. The fact that I live in a country where I can be thankful for Jesus.
3. God’s Grace
4. God’s forgiveness cause I am in need of it everyday
5. Dan
6. That our marriage is built on our faith in God.
7. Being a mom
8. Fingerprints
9. Robby
10. Isaiah
11. Jeremy
12. AnnieQ
13. Homeschooling my kids
14. Crockpots
15. Dishwashers
16. Ascension Lutheran Church and her wonderful families.
17. Coffee
18. Mary
19. Video players in cars
20. My foster kids and the joy each one have brought to our family.
21. Brandon
22. iPhone’s
23. Facebook
24. Strawberries
25. My bed
26. My new arches for my shoes
27. GPS
28. Being a non-called DCE
29. Pastor Bernie
30. Painio music
31. Peppermint Mocha’s
32. My mom
33. Youth ministry
34. Hot baths
35. Texting
36. Music
37. Panda
38. My dad
39. My Cat-Camella
40. Our Doctors and their practices
41. Monrovia Elementary school and the teachers there
42. Freedom
43. Running water
44. Hot water
45. Electricity
46. That our house is still standing.
47. Cruising
48. The Greers, Buck, Eagans
49. Disney
50. Sharing family history
51. Coupons
52. Starbucks
53. Dried Corn
54. My sister Christie
55. “uncle Chad”… My brother in law
56. Tori
57. Turkey
58. Black olives
59. Coffee
60. Dan-again:)
61. Wendy
62. Shawn
63. Cayla
64. Destiny
65. Emily
66. Jon Jon
67. Laptops
68. Smell of thanksgiving dinner when you wake up!!
69. Aunt Dinny
70. Being able to sleep in when at Dan’s family!
71. My sister-in-laws-I become baby sis with them!
72. Brother in laws all of them!
73. Martin Luther
74, my kids God families, Shafers, Evans, Heaps, Whitmires, Levenhagen’s, Owens, Ms Bobbie and Susan and the Golden Girls!
75. Mike, Cyndi, Anna Peebles
76. For the life of Charlie and the lives he touched.
77. Snow
78. Hot Coco
79. Brownies
80. Snow
81. Brandle and Michael
82. Bubble baths
83. Warm sweaters
84. Old college friends
85. New car smell
86. Working District Sr. High-that was a blast!
87. My hubby
88. Camp Noah
89. All my extended family!
90. All my kids friends
91. Google
92. Kindergarten
93. CDC
94. Pillows
95. Bible on iPhones
96. New CPH self study bible
97. Education
98. Memories
99. Love
100. My Life

I could go on, but a 100 was all I needed!

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Storms…Can’t Sleep

This is the first night since the storms I can’t sleep. Since our only form of outside communications has been the radio I had not seen pictures till today. Finally I saw a few through the iPhone earlier, but tonight Pastor Bernie came by for ribs and brought the newspaper…oh the pictures. I thought our neighborhood seemed bad, we knew it wasn’t but when every house has some damage it seemed bad. But houses where gone. Someone said if that tornado…that I saw…had been 10-20ft lower our neighborhood would not be only clearing trees, shingles, shutters, toys and branches, but…we would be picking through rubble. This bothers me right now. How close my family was to danger. These things you don’t think of till it smacks you in face. My nine year old is terrified of Tornados. We have many warnings here and many times they end up in the little bathroom. I have a plan that when we get close I will say…” each go get a pillow and blanket and grab some books and take it to the bathroom. The first wave of panic…I will say ” we are fine now, it is mommy and daddy’s job to be prepared and keep you safe. Then the questions…”what will happen if it knocks our house down?”…then we rebuild…as long as you guys are safe that’s all I worry about.
When the warnings are close I simple tell the kids time to go read books. Off they go…my 16 sits in the living room. He knows when I say go…go…! I have my lap top in bathroom and I listen to tv and watch out the window…
I did that twice on Wed…the first time the noise and wind were loud…but minor damage.


The second time I saw the twisting off to my left when I finally realized what I was seeing.


I ran to the little bathroom and waited to the noise to go away…it did…I yelled out to Dan in laundry room “was that it?”. Dan said no there is still a few more minutes….I waited.
I looked out front and thought oh good the houses are standing…


At that moment it never crossed my mind that anything could be wrong with out house. I just saw houses standing. Dan called from the back sunroom. Our nice big tree 6 feet from the house was uprooted…


Glad it went the other way, we went out to check on the rest of the house while an other storm was brewing not far from us.
House in tack, cars still there, trailer still there…


That red little car was by the truck before the storm.

Two shutters off, some roof damage…minor…our house was still standing.

The sirens still ring in my head…and I know the next time we hear them..my kids will be more freaked out…
But we will praise God with what ever we have cause all this stuff well ……….it’s stuff!! My family…they are they true blessing!

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