Been thinking about being a parenting lately. It is hard not to think about it when you have 4 kids and have parented over 20 kids. I am not sure where the notion came into play that just because we have done that we have become better that those who parent 1 or 2 kids?
Parenting has been around since Adam and Eve. It hasn’t gotten any easier or harder. The situation different for each family. It isn’t anything new. No book came with parenting. While 1000’s haven been written, it is not a one size fits all approach. I have always said that.
Working as a DCE for the last 15 years or so I have helped many parents. I have counseled, given resources. I have listen to teens complain about their parents, listen to parents concerned about their teens. I have taught countless parenting classes, and have read countless parenting books.
When I was pregnant, I thought I had it figured out. Day one. I was wrong. I was a failure as a parent. I couldn’t even give birth to my child, they had to do a c-section. He didn’t want to breastfeed right. Didn’t want to sleep. But as the weeks went on, as the years went on, I started figuring it out.
Different things change. He grows. We make adjustments.
When you adopt, sometimes you don’t start with a baby. I started with a 3 month old, a 3-year-old and a 13-year-old. You just jump in and figure out your way. It is like having a newborn. Except some of them can talk back to you. No need for diaper changes. But you are learning rhythms and as they grow you have to adjust. Sometimes quicker than you are ready to.
There is no right way to parent. Sure there is 1000’s a books out there to help you. My husband and I were watching Pawn Star on History Channel. They where looking at an old map. The comment was made that back then map makers just had to go out there and do it. It was a hard job and took a while, but they typical did a good job in the end, all with out GPS’s. I laughed and said that parenting. We just have to go out there and do it.
We are still figuring out our territory, surveying it. Each of our children’s map will be slightly different. But what is going to be true is when we are done, our map is a picture of a beautiful young adult. No, I guess parenting doesn’t really stop there. There are different stages. Just like making a map each part comes with a painful process of getting as right as you can.
As parents we trust in the One who gives us the peace that with Him by our side we can and will handle anything. It isn’t easy. Talking as easy as it seems isn’t easy. You have to unravel things that were heard or assumed or told. You have to back track to the point where something got off track, and stick it back on track. That is what parenting is about. Just like mapping, if something didn’t work right, they would back up and figuring it out.