When I got married this was never a problem. Dan has always been a very supportive husband. He had to be! I was in a position were some days it was hard. Church work was hard. When I walk in the door I knew that I could drop the “church worker smile” and vent. From the moment I met him he always supported and affirmed me!
(of course one of the many things I loved about him!)
When you are given a compliment, you feel good. When you do something and some one gives you a thank you, it bust you up. Families that so this everyday build each other up. Husband and wives that affirm and support each other set the example to the children. Sure my children fight, but mostly they support and love each other.
Gary Chapman wrote “It’s Not What You Said. It’s How You Said It!” How true is that! My little one loves to “help and serve” his sister. But his sister doesn’t always want his “niceness.” We are trying to teach them to say thank you. Oh her thank you’s are sassy and pitiful. They do not mean “thank you.” But when she says “than you ” nicely, I make sure to really affirm her that she did good. Because if I only focused on the things they did wrong….well they are kids.
You got to catch your kids doing good!
Make a big deal about it! Especially if you have children who are hard to deal with…ummm like maybe like my children. Oh they are not hard to deal with just stubborn, mischievous, curious….I don’t always do a good job catching them doing good!
Make sure you are affirming your husband Here is a great list of 50 ways to affirm your husband!
When getting a foster child, most likely they didn’t grew up with a lot of support and affirmation. This will be a new area for them. As you affirm them for little things, they may not respond right away. But just a simple “good job” may put a smile on their face. Keep it up with them. Even if they speak ugly and negative, with time this may change.
Check out these 101 Affirmations for children! What a great idea.
Goto my Pinterest Board to see more great ideas for affirmation cards!
How do you support and affirm your family?