Yes I did it. I took my 5-year-old to Target. He wanted to come and I was happy to bring him. But the minute I walked into Target he tested me.
I got the wrong cart. He thinks we should have those big ones where he can sit. It is great when he sits in them. But normally he wants to stand, flip, flop and soon he is just walking and I am stuck push this huge cart. So he crossed he arms and said he wasn’t coming.
Fine I said and started walking toward the apples, keeping a watchful eye on him. Soon he came walking with me. I told him he could have a cookie, walked over to the bakery for a free cookies, got one and gave it to him. “I don’t want that one. I want one from Starbucks.” I reminded him “I told you coming in we were only getting the free cookies today.” He again folds his arms, and refused to go. I did my walking away and this time he didn’t come. I gave him one more chance. Then I picked him up stuck him in the cart and told him we were leaving.
And I left.
Tears are streaming down his face as he is screaming I don’t want to go! Please stay. I knew I had to get my point across, so we went all the way to the car. And with the cart I stood there for a minute, not saying anything. He stopped crying. I waited a few more minutes.
“Isaiah, the way you behaved in there was unacceptable. We are working on first time listening and I asked you many times to walk with me and you didn’t. I told you why you were walking instead of riding in the big cart and why we are getting the free cookie. Do you understand this?” He responded, “yes mommy.” “Good. Now how many times do I need to ask you to do something?” “One” said Isaiah. “Good. Now we are going back into the store. You may ride in the cart or walk. I have to get your brother’s prescription and if you can continue being good, we can go look at the toys. We are not buying any toys, but we can look at them.” “Yes mommy”
And I walked back into Target and we ended up having a pleasant shopping trip.
I find that each one of my kids respond differently to discipline. And each one behave poorly over different things. With the three younger ones, we are working on first time listening. If my voice is raised and I am now screaming, I have said it one too many times! The other day, after saying something 5 times, I yelled it, Isaiah says “Gosh mommy you didn’t have to yell!”
It is at those moments I want to pull my hair out!! Since I like my hair I respond with “Gosh Isaiah, if you had listened the first time I wouldn’t be yelling.
Now AnQuenette worst issue is when her “fun” bubble is popped. Like tonight, they were outside playing ball with a neighbor. I came out and told the two little ones it was bed time. Isaiah “Yes mommy” and went up stairs. (I think I made an impact on him today!) AnQuenette, broke into a whining, yelling, crying thing she does and flopped on the ground. “I don’t want to goto bed. I didn’t have a turn. It’s not fair. boo hoo boo too.” Me, “ok, boys can AnQuenette have a quick turn at batting. So she gets up, smiles and says “I win” walking over there. Ummm wrong thing to say!
With her I just have to put her screaming in her room. Little things set her off, like her fun bubble bursting, or finding shoes. I don’t know what it is about finding shoes, but saying the words sets her off. Sunday, all I said was “AnQuenette, go find your shoes and put them on.” Screaming, rolling on the floor, yelling. Over shoes. Which where on the floor by her feet.
Oh when she is mad at you cause you burst her fun bubble, her eyes speak of meanest and hatred! But by the time the screaming is done, she is happy and acts like nothing happened. The best punishment for her is no TV, cause that little girl loves her TV.
What I have learned about parenting and discipline is each child is different. What works for one, does not always work for the other. But being consistent is the key. Remember that parenting is a process of trail and error (my kids can’t read this right!) and you just have keep trying till you find the right combination.